Many women are waiting until their late 20s to have their first child, according to The National Center for Health Statistics, and we are seeing more and more parents having children in their 30s and 40s. With older parents comes older grandparents, and those few years in age really make an impact.
โI was 69 years old before my firstย grandchild was born,โ said Rose Pitkethly,ย my mother-in-law. โItโs harder being anย older grandparent. You donโt have theย stamina, flexibility or energy that you didย 20 years ago.โ
Many of her friends became grandparents long before she did, and they didnโt have to deal with the many medical issues associated with aging, such as arthritis, heart disease or high blood pressure.
Ivette Maldonado agreed. The motherย of two notices how her mother strugglesย with aches and pains and tries to makeย accommodations for her.
“The girls and I will chooseย to do things with her that wonโtย require much physical activity orย cause her too much soreness,โ sheย said. โWe used to invite her onย road trips with us, but she canโtย tolerate sitting for too long. Iโmย sure she feels sheโs missing out asย she gets older.”
So, why are people waiting longer toย become parents? One of the reasonsย people are putting off having childrenย is to pursue their education beyondย a bachelorโs degree. In 2014, nearlyย 2 million students were enrolled inย a masterโs, specialist or doctorateย program. A large investment inย education typically leads to dedicationย to oneโs career. Couples may opt toย become more established in theirย professions before deciding to growย their family.
The past 10 years have also shown aย steady decline in births, correlatingย with the economic recession. Perhapsย many are afraid they canโt afford toย have children. According to the Pewย Research Center, the typical cost to raiseย a child from age 0 to 18 is $245,430.
Contraception has become much more effective and available in recent years, resulting in fewer โsurpriseโ babies. Additionally, a womanโs chance of being infertile increases after her mid- 30s. So, if she is waiting until then to have a baby, she may have some difficulty conceiving and may need to pursue fertility treatments or other options such as surrogacy or adoption.
Marcia Ise and her husband wereย married 10 years before they felt theyย were ready to have children. She wasย 37 and her husband was 47. “I thinkย waiting really makes us appreciate themย and our time with them more,” she said.ย “We did so much in our 10 years ofย marriage before them that I’ve never feltย like I’ve had to sacrifice anything in myย life for them.”
Naturally, their parents were ecstaticย when they announced their firstย pregnancy, and they were supportiveย throughout their marriage. “I was luckyย our parents never pressured us,” saidย Ise. “Actually, when we told them theyย were so shocked since they assumed weย just weren’t going to have kids.”
Whatever the reason your childrenย have waited to have kids of their own,ย remember your value. Being an olderย grandparent doesnโt mean you canโt doย anything with the kids; it just meansย doing different things. Ask the parentsย to reserve certain activities just forย you: painting pictures, playing boardย games, teaching them how to cook,ย etc. Make meaningful memories withย your grandchildren by adding your ownย special touch.